Kalian boleh bilang saya : galau.

aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yang tak terbayar
tak terkira
aku manusia
melihat merasa mendengar
apa kau tau itu ?
aku bukan mereka
aku bukan dia
atau pun kamu

aku bebas
tapi tak merdeka
benar bukan?
mengapa aku tak merdeka?
merdeka buatku, jika aku memenangkan pertarungan hatiku, hati engkau dan dia.
aku bebas
tapi tak merdeka
karna dia kalahkan aku
aku pecundang

aku mengkhianati hati?
ya begitu adanya
entah terbuat dari apa otakku ini
melihat sesuatunya begitu sempit.

aku melawan
aku terlawan
posisi yang sulit
rumit
aku sendiri tak tahu apa ini

yang aku tahu pasti
aku akan terus hidup dalam kebohongan
tanpa arah pasti
tanpa tujuan pasti
tidak tidak, tujuan ku pasti :
kamu.
ya, kamu.
bukan yang lain
titik.

dia maya, tak nyata.

Hari itu
Hari itu
Dia begitu bahagia
Aku pun begitu..
Hari itu
Hari itu
Dia nyata
Aku hidup..

Kembali
Kembali
Ke hari itu
Dimana semua nyata
Semua tertawa

Kembali
Kembali
Ke hari itu
Garis senyum
Sosok jenaka

Hari ini
Hari ini
Kosong
Sepi

Hari ini
Hari ini
Menunggu kembali
Menangis kembali

Hari ini
Hari ini
Mengkhianati hati
Menyeruak

Hari ini
Hari itu
Berbeda
Selamanya..
Selamanya..
Kamu, maya.
Tidak nyata.

apology is not an elegy.

Saturday, 17.20, evening
i call this red dying evening
the Beloved had gone without saying goodbye
the Beloved met her Creator and left me with silence
i got down on her knees and hope it was just a dream.
No. This was REALITY.
She laid down with her pale faceoh God, i couldnt stand to see her face.
She wanted me to be SOMEONE
SOMEONE who is useful for everyone, reaching my future.
She didnt want to see me cry
but oohh this pain was too hard,
i couldnt stop this tears.MOM,
i know i cant be your best son,
iam regret with every mistakes that i did to you.
but i have my own way to show that I LOVE YOU.
I never forget 18 years getting along with you
I never forget YOUR SMILE, YOUR ANGER and surely YOUR LOVE
and i never forget the day you slept away..
I hope i can be your best son and you will smile when i reach my future.
I'll always love you ,mom
i do.
*this post i wrote for my friend name M.T. Ridho and for his Beloved mother.
thanks for giving me such a great lesson about how important the family is and realize me to love my parents because we cant get the chance back.

yes, you called it stupid or what the hell you say!

have you ever treated like a jerk?

Everyday in your life, you're haunted by another sad story.

And crying all night long, just to make it a lil bit obvious.
Maybe i'm not the only one who feels those situation. Almost every day in my life i've been treated like a JERK! This just because i dont even have GOOD IN MY APPEARANCE.
THEM, who thinks that their selves are PERFECT. They never know and NEVER WANT TO KNOW how suck to be my self.
how does it feel being different from them, how does it feel being jeered everyday on whole of my life and never want to know how much tears that out from this eyes just to regret my destiny.THEY DONT KNOW. Even care.From now on, i put my trust in me, NOT YOU EVEN THE WORLD.The Lord had created me like today and i'm never regret for it.This stupid note isnt wrote for showing my sadness or what the hell you say.Enough for being Loser, buddy!Enough for TREATING PEOPLE LIKE ME AS A USELESS THING.
STOP THINKING THAT YOU'RE PERFECT.

yes, a rhyme!

when everything is getting older

all i wanna do is gather

when everything is getting darker

all i wanna do is shouting them louder

when world is fulled with riot

iam feel like an idiot

when everything is going crazy

i need you to make it easy

where are the liars gone?where are the fakers flown?

Iam alone and done.

you know, it was totally over.

it was 02.00 am

and it was raining

I listened to our favorite songs.

Remember when we are together

shouted them and made a riot, like an idiot.

I like the way you stare at me,

I like the way you smile at me,

I like the way you shout at me,

but i dont even like the way you breaking everything in the pieces.

Sounds so pity, but it's true.

When we are separated,all i feel is desperated.

Because iam not ready to be aparted.

Iam not.

Iam over it.

Post in-the-late-night-mind.

Yeah yeah you say goodbye

and i can't deny

i'm going to die

so i'm asking why

and you answer with lie

Iam starting to cry

and i believe that you're guy

i walk alone

no one to care

rain fall down heavily

just like my tears

i shout loudly

you make me ugly

i walk through the alley

and wait for you baby

put my headphone

i know i'm alone

and i think is done.

randomamamamamma

Aisya said : "masya ALAY"